I just realized i blog at awkward timing but i have been updating with my thoughts and feelings quite often. At least i did something of my new year resolution.
i thought i have found a quite big part of myself in 2014, big joke , i didn't. In fact, i lost myself even further now. ( just right at the beginning of the year ) good job , siqing! I almost became the person i didn't wanted and told myself not to become. i thought i was indepedent , i was not. i was dependent on this someone, but now i realized i can't be anymore. i need to be on my own now. i only have me at the end of the day. i still have my responsibilities , a huge burden. Sometimes i wish i could just walk out like this 
My mind was away most of the time, i mean not in lessons, out of lessons, i'll try my very best to stay focus in lessons, for that's probably the only reason why i go to school now . I disliked school, disliked the people in there and the way things worked. My mind's in a mess , i woke up everyday, feeling unhappy. Like someone just had to piss me off every morning , it's either that or something pisses me off. I tried to convince myself , it isnt that bad. Everyday's a brand new day and everything will get better, i used to say that to others too. Sorry to say, it's all bullshit. that type of words don't work. yeah true, it gets better and then boom, we're back to square one.
was blessed with this pretty sky after i ended tuition and walked down, these are the things i appreciate. X 
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